Sick
and Alone
Dealt
with a horrible flu this past week that really wiped me out. Still not one
hundred percent but on the mend. I had no energy to cook or clean or even take
a shower. But I have a husband and son still at home who took up some of the
slack. They waited on me when they could, made sure I didn’t starve or get
dehydrated and no doubt would have called the doctor had I gotten worse.
I
have a friend I’ve known over thirty years who lost her husband to cancer
several years ago and is disabled with a congenital immune system problem that
causes rheumatoid arthritis and widespread neuropathy. She also has COPD. She
was very sick with one thing after another this winter, some of her own making
simply because she didn’t follow through with a doctor. Dealing with everything
herself, she becomes overwhelmed and shuts down.
You
offer to help and she usually refuses. After a while, you give up and let her
do what she wants. You certainly can’t make anyone do what they don’t want. I
must admit that sometimes letting go was a case of losing patience with her and
not wanting to be bothered. Being sick myself and feeling helpless to alleviate
the situation brought me a better understanding of how lonely it must be to
have to deal with life on your own.
Ways
to Help
You
still can’t take over other people’s lives but you can encourage, badger a bit,
and hope they choose to get the help they need to take care of themselves. Cook
some soup and bring it over, call and make sure the person is functioning okay,
offer to drive them to the doctor. I couldn’t have driven myself during my
worse symptoms. Call an ambulance if you believe the person’s health is at
risk. They won’t necessarily thank you at the time, but when feeling better and
able to think more clearly, they will.
Obviously
you don’t want to get sick yourself, so take precautions—hand washing, a mask
if necessary. The elderly are especially vulnerable and likely to lose cognitive
function when sick. If you have family or neighbors on their own, take care of
each other.
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