The Benefit of Forgiveness

The Real Benefit of Forgiveness

When I first left outside work to raise my kids, I spent my nights and the kids’ nap time crocheting baby clothes, hats and mittens, and toys to sell at craft fairs. It didn’t net me much in income but assuaged my guilt at not contributing to the family budget and met my need for a creative outlet.

Even though difficult to make and time-consuming, I especially enjoyed making a large Winnie-the-Pooh with his little red shirt, Piglet, Eeyore and his gloomy, sad eyes, and Tigger with his ready-to-bounce curly tail—really cute if I say so myself. One set that I donated to our local TV station’s fundraiser did very well.

Taken in by a Con Artist

I took another set to a local craft fair. A young woman bought Pooh and Piglet and paid by check. A half hour later she came back to buy Eeyore and Tigger. I wrote her license number on the checks. They bounced, a sum of over $125.00 plus bank fees, a large amount for me at the time. Come to find out, she’d done the same to other vendors at the fair. We all reported her to the police. Nothing came of it.

Feeling victimized and stupid for falling for her lies, I visualized finding her, showing up, and barging in with righteous wrath to grab back my property. I’d rarely been so angry and disgusted. I tried not to obsess, tried to move on. Didn’t work. I pictured the woman in handcuffs. Then I remembered the little towheaded kids with her.

The Solution

I started praying for them—poor little kids with such a mother. Eventually, I brought her into the prayers, mostly that she be a better mother to them than she was a responsible citizen. When my requests for her well-being became real (took a while), the anger and helpless feeling lessened and finally disappeared. It was one of the most important lessons of my life.

It really is impossible to pray that God watch over people and bless them while hating or being angry at them for an extended period. You don’t condone or whitewash their behavior, but you do wind up forgiving them. How else could your prayer become real?

This may be a case of fake it till you make it, an old phrase that works well here. I prayed for someone whose behavior I despised and who left me feeling helpless to resolve the matter until it became an honest prayer for her welfare. I received in return an amazing peace of mind and sense of personal power. I wouldn’t trade that, even for a return of my property.