Sorry About the Cards

Sorry About the Cards

This has been the busiest year of my life. Usually they fly by. This year, things that happened the first half seem more like a couple of years ago. I spent January in Georgia, helping my mother clear out her house, pack up everything else—a large van full—and drive her to Massachusetts. February was spent helping her to settle in to an apartment and getting doctors and medicines in sync. I thought Georgia’s medical system was hopelessly inept. Inefficiency and confusion know no state apparently, though I have to admit we settled things more quickly here.

In the spring, my mom had several falls caused, we later found out, from a severe infection probably introduced by her pacemaker put in the last December. She moved in and out of hospitals and rehab through June and July, on IV antibiotics for six weeks. At one of the hospitals where she went for a bleeding problem, they found that she had colon cancer.

She had been complaining of pain, thinking it was hemorrhoids, for over a year but refused a colonoscopy back then. Now her heart and general condition contraindicated surgery or chemotherapy. In July she moved to an assisted living facility on hospice. Almost six months later, she has failed physically and mentally but not nearly to the degree you would expect.

Her long-term memory is intact, her short-term, nearly nonexistent. The confusion this causes—never sure what is going on, unable to remember plans, to go down from her room to the dining room for meals—results in anxiety, frustration, and anger. Yet, she always knows who her kids are, a blessing from my perspective.

The beginning of December, the facility had a craft fair for which she was able to make the yarn cats she sold for years when she lived in New Jersey. Her mental abilities improved with the work, though I noticed that of course her ability to organize suffered and the finished products were not quite as professional as of old. Didn’t matter. She had fun and that’s what counted.

On the Personal Front

At the end of July, my husband went out to run an errand and had a medical incident where he lost consciousness and backed into a neighbor’s car. The Department of Motor Vehicles suspended his license and his doctors refused to take the responsibility of writing a letter attesting to his ability to keep driving, despite the fact that they believed the incident occurred because of dehydration—it was during one of the ninety-degree heat waves—rather than a seizure. He has to wait for six months, which will be the end of January.

Between my son and me, friends, and coworkers he had rides to and from work. Unfortunately, his job requirements state that an employee has to have a valid driver’s license, so they suspended him. Unemployment pays only half of your salary. He was out of work for two months before his employers agreed to let him come back on a medical accommodation, to be reviewed the end of January.

I felt God’s gracious hand throughout our troubles. We managed to keep up with bills. It will be a lean Christmas, but we are grateful we didn’t lose the house and learned a lesson about being prepared for financial emergencies, not that we have the wherewithal to remedy that yet, but it will be a priority this next year. OK, it will probably take several years to build up a sufficient emergency fund.

When they tell you to have enough money for six months, they generally mention mortgage, utility, medical and food bills. The medical, I thought of as in office visits and medicine. I never considered medical, disability, and life insurance, which can be incredibly expensive when you have to pay for them without the employer contribution.

Anyway, the cost of stamps for Christmas cards is not in the budget this year, so I’ll use this space to wish all my family and friends a joyous Christmas or happy holiday season for those of you who aren’t Christians, and to all, a safe and prosperous New Year.