Hormonal Rage

Hormonal Rage

One doctor who wrote about menopause said that when women have emotional highs and lows during perimenopause—the time before menopause when the hormones start to change—it is usually because of unresolved issues. I believe it can also simply be hormones driving you crazy. I finally reached the technical milestone of menopause—one year without a period. Took over ten years to get there.

I read that symptoms such as heart palpitations and forgetting words are common during this aging process and usually resolve after menopause is reached. The palpitations have eased dramatically for me but not what my husband calls the brain farts. Since he has them as well, I’m more inclined to think it is a symptom of aging for everyone.

I am especially grateful to no longer feel the rage that plagued me for probably a couple of years, and I don’t mean being pissed. I mean seeing red, want to tear someone’s head off rage. Since the level of rage remained the same from real issues to any little thing to nothing in particular and it stopped on its own without medication or therapy, I know unresolved issues were not the underlying cause. I also don’t miss the mild depression that usually accompanied PMS, the headaches, or the joint pain.  

Embarrassing Myself

For the most part, I managed to contain my behavior when in one of these rages, though I’m sure I sent a few over-the-top comments on religious or judgmental Facebook posts. I don’t remember the exact topic I discussed with a cousin of mine, something to do with biblical teachings, where she suggested reacting with kindness, probably, reading between the lines, meaning self-restraint.

I self-righteously proclaimed that I would continue to call out any hypocrisy whenever I saw it or something to that effect. Embarrassing now. I hope she’ll overlook it. She’s a few years younger than I am and has perhaps been through the process. I’ll have to ask how her experience has been.

Owning Your Experience

Some women use hormone replacement therapy to ease themselves through this transition. I wasn’t comfortable with the possible side effects and let nature take its course. I had hot flashes, most often in the late evening before bedtime. I’ve heard that some women find them unbearable. Fortunately, I did not and they have mostly dissipated.

Whatever your experience, don’t let anyone else tell you what it should or should not be. I knew one woman who had no sympathy for women who had symptoms. She believed, since she experienced none, that it was a matter of mind over matter. Don’t believe it. Your experience is real. Pay attention to your body, consult a gynecologist by all means, listen to advice, and decide what will be the best way for you to handle this life change. And lend a sympathetic ear to your fellow sisters.