Sexual Hang-ups

Sexual Hang-ups

One of my relatives believed it showed a wanton, immoral streak to open her legs any farther than absolutely necessary during intercourse. Another couldn’t imagine wanting to try intercourse with her partner entering from behind her. “You lose all emotional intimacy,” she said, which was code for “wanting sex for purely physical gratification or fun is wrong.”

In some states, ancient laws still declare oral or anal sex to be illegal. I don’t know where to start with religious constraints. What’s with religious strictures against birth control? It interferes with God’s will? Yet they recommend tracking ovulation and refrain from sex during that time. What’s the difference? It’s still you, not God, taking responsibility for not getting pregnant. Didn’t he give us minds to reason things out?

It’s far more immoral, in my admitted liberal but nevertheless spiritual opinion, to decide to bring kids into the world when you aren’t emotionally or financially prepared to take care of them. And I’m not advocating abortion when birth control is free and easily come by, though I don’t want that decision left to the government either. Interesting how few right-to-life activists lobby for better wages, sick time, access to daycare, etc., so parents have a fighting chance to fulfill their duties to their kids.

Changing Mores?

Sex before marriage and unmarried couples living together has become accepted even by older people, though often more in regard to their children or grandchildren. I know many widows who feel disloyal and immoral at the thought of dating let alone having sex with another man. Older men—not so much an issue. They’re better at compartmentalizing sex and emotional relationships and less likely to feel guilty at wanting sex for its own sake.

Many of these women won’t even consider sex toys for self-gratification. Masturbation seems to remain the taboo child of sex. I know few parents who have talked about it with their children in the sex talk, which tends to focus on preventing diseases and pregnancy rather than on feelings or biological needs and how to deal with them.

How many women really know how their sex organs function or even know what they look like? Too many still say down there when referring to them—an automatic sense that sex and body parts relating to it are shameful.

Next week—toys and ideas for the adventurous.