Taxes and E-Reading Trauma

Taxes and E-Reading Trauma

Finally finished doing my taxes—latest I’ve ever left it. This is the first year I’ve had to deal with my son being in college, which requires forms I’m not used to. The fact that the IRS no longer sends out instruction booklets to the libraries didn’t help. I hate looking things up online, especially when you have to go to different sources for the information you seek. Give me pages to physically turn. I can do that and find what I want swiftly and efficiently.

In a long online document, you try to scroll down quickly and the visual disappears until you stop, so you have no idea how far you’ve gone. No doubt there’s a straightforward way to do it, but I haven’t figured it out yet. I resisted computer/social media stuff for years. In bowing to the inevitable, I’m doing it and have learned a lot but still feel like I’m playing catch up.

Toolbars and Icons

I barely understand either toolbars or icons and, half the time, have the screen angled so the light hides the icon I’m supposed to click on, presupposing I know that’s the one I want for what I’m looking for. And what the hell (please excuse my frustration) is a widget? I don’t pretend to understand how to call up the exact toolbar I want at the exact time I want it. Who decided to make it more confusing and place icons all over the page? And yes, sometimes they stare me in the face and I still don’t see them. My son despairs of my ability to learn.

E-filing

Anyway, I rant. I was talking about taxes. They’re done, federal and state, math checked, signatures in place, each accompanying form attached, envelope sealed. I successfully e-filed a couple of years ago. The next year I changed my email address and the IRS wouldn’t accept it. I couldn’t find anywhere to tell them of the change, so they’re getting paper. I’m not sure how much postage is required. We’ll take them to the Post Office and have them weighed.

Okay—first I have to tear open the envelopes and fish out the forms. I forgot to copy them for the records.

An Empty House Invites Evil Spirits

The Point of the Gospel

The Sign of Jonah {Matthew and Luke}

{Luke} Jesus said to the people, “As Jonah was a sign to the Ninevites, so the Son of Man will be to this generation.”

{Matthew} Some of the Pharisees and teachers of the Law demanded that Jesus show them more miraculous signs. Jesus said, “You are a wicked and an adulterous generation, and the only sign you will receive is the same as the prophet Jonah provided spending three days and nights in the belly of a gigantic fish. Just so, the Son of Man will be three days and nights in the heart of the earth.”

{Matthew and Luke} Jesus said, “The men of Nineveh will condemn this generation on the day of judgment. They repented when Jonah preached to them, and one greater than Jonah is now before you. The Queen of the South will condemn this generation as well. She traveled from the ends of the earth to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, and one greater than Solomon now stands before you.”

An Empty House Invites Evil Spirits {Matthew}

Jesus said, “When an evil spirit leaves a man, it travels lifeless places in search of rest but does not find any resting place, so decides to return to the place where it came from. Finding the man swept clean and in order, the spirit goes to find seven even more wicked spirits to live there. The man winds up worse than he started. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

Jesus’ Mother and Brothers {Matthew and Luke}

Jesus’ mother and brothers could not get to Jesus because of the crowd he spoke to. Someone told Jesus they waited for him. He pointed to his disciples. “These are my mother and brothers. Whoever hears God’s word and puts it into practice is my brother, sister, and mother.”

Personal Thought: I find it incomprehensible that some Christians insist that Mary remained a virgin all her days, despite being married, and therefore couldn’t have provided siblings for Jesus. They say when the Bible mentions brothers, they mean disciples. Bible seems pretty clear to me on the subject.

Resolving Shame

Resolving Shame

I subscribe to the Biblical teaching, “Let those without sin cast the first stone.” Doesn’t seem to work, however, when the shame is my own. I’ve done numerous things I’ve been ashamed of in my lifetime, some relatively minor, others harder to resolve, not only with a second party, but with my concept of the kind of person I am or at least strive to be.

I know I have a tendency to control and bully to get my way. Being aware of it, I do my best not to give in to it. The first time this tendency hit me on the head, I found out about a singing contest I really wanted to enter but wanted someone to go with me for moral support. I had a friend with a beautiful voice, even shyer than I was, who adamantly refused. I cajoled and downright bullied to get her to go, refusing to take no for an answer, to the point that when I arrived to pick her up, she had fled her own home to get away from me.

At first angry then, realizing what I had done, ashamed, I apologized profusely the next day, surprised she agreed to talk to me at all. She accepted the apology, but needless to say, the friendship soon dissolved.

Forgiveness

Once in the middle of a severe family problem, I lashed out at someone outside the family but with a similar problem. I made amends but lost faith in myself as a good person. It took about a year before I got to the place where I could accept God’s forgiveness, which he showed me in a profound and loving way. It relieved me of the fear of others’ reactions. If He could forgive me, what did it matter what anyone else had to say on the subject?

Yet forgiving myself and stopping the internal negative chatter still proved difficult. A long time ago now, I have moved on from twenty-four hour guilt to thinking about it once in a while. I honestly don’t know whether this lingering shame is a good or lack-of-faith thing. On the one hand, it certainly prevents me from ever doing anything similar. On the other hand, I hope I don’t allow it to scare me away from risks or opportunities that might enrich my life or someone else’s in the fear that it will go sour or that I’m setting myself up to repeat past bad behavior.

Life can be a tight-rope act. Sometimes you have to act without the surety of a firm footing and take the chance you’ll learn to fly. But be prepared to pick yourself up after failures and dredge up the courage to go on to the next challenge. Maybe that’s true forgiveness—accepting the existence of a weakness and, in working on strengthening it, moving forward.

Rest for the Weary

The Point of the Gospel

 

Consequences for the Unrepentant {Matthew}

Jesus criticized city people who had seen most of his miracles but refused to repent. “Bethsaida and Korazin, expect sorrow and misery. If Tyre and Sidon had seen the miracles you have, they would have repented in sackcloth and ashes. They will come through the day of judgment better than you. Capernaum? You will go to Hades. The miracles you saw would have turned Sodom, and it would still be here.

Rest for the Weary {Matthew}

Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for hiding these truths from the wise and learned and revealing them to children. The Father has entrusted everything to me. Only the Father knows the Son, and the Son reveals the Father to those he chooses. Come to me, any who are weary and burdened, I will give you rest. Wear my yoke and learn what I have to teach. I am gentle and humble and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

(A yoke is something that joins two animals or parts to work together. The verb means to join or bind together. Easy means more than not difficult—causing little hardship or distress, not strict or sever, not harried or forced.)

The Jews’ Unbelief {John}

Jesus went to Jerusalem for the Feast of Dedication (Hanukkah). Walking in Solomon’s Colonade near the temple, the Jews gathered and said, “Tell us once and for all, are you the Messiah?”

Jesus said, “The miracles I have shown you should tell you, but you don’t believe because you are not of my flock. My sheep listen and follow me. I give them eternal life and no one can take them from me. My Father, the greatest of all, gave them to me. No one can take them from him, and I and the Father are one.” The Jews grabbed stones to throw at him. Jesus said, “For which of the miracles from the Father do you stone me?”

“We are stoning you for blasphemy, because you equate yourself with God.”

“Scripture (Psalms 82:6), which is unbreakable, refers to those hearing God’s word as gods. And the one the Father set apart as his very own and sent into the world? Is it blasphemy to say I am God’s Son? If you will not believe me who does what the Father does, believe the miracles. The Father is in me and I in the Father.” They tried to grab Jesus but he escaped.  

I'm Looking for Input

Query Letter for My Novel

In deciding on a topic for this week’s post, I really didn’t want to take time away from my novel. I can see the finish line and want to get it done, so I can send out queries to agents who might be interested in representing me. So why not write about the novel. The following is a draft of my letter to tell others the gist of the story. I’ll continue to tweak it to clarify some muddy spots. I’d be grateful for any suggestions—places that were difficult to follow, important questions left unanswered.

The Devoted of Imshalel

The Devoted of Imshalel is a centuries-old, multicultural society determined to find and protect the woman destined to sow the seeds of stability in a precarious world and bear the children who will bring them to fruition. 109,000 words, the fantasy novel follows shy, self-effacing Shannon as she becomes the compelling Imshalel with the power of will to alter hearts and minds. The story blends the contemporary world with the speculative community of the Devoted.

Shannon’s life mirrors the cautionary tale experts warn women to avoid. She ended a career to raise two sons and, stuck in a dead-end marriage, has few financial resources. Ian, bound by vows to the Devoted, runs a US corporation and human relief organizations that provide the society conduits to the outside world. Promised a family during a vision undertaken as part of the Devoted’s training, Ian believes Shannon is his prophesied wife but recognizes signs that she may be more—a strongly empathic nature, loving tolerance for human failings, and passionate environmental concerns—and brings her to the Devoted’s island, long kept off the radar of other nations, to determine if she is Imshalel. 

A test of strategy and physical endurance verifies that Shannon is Imshalel and hurls her into a future where she’s expected to marry multiple multiracial men, to ensure the diversity of her children, and to embody the hopes of an entire people for a more sustainable world. To save herself and her children from enemies incurred by her husbands during missions of the Devoted to aid the helpless and embattled, Imshalel must fight an ingrained fear of relying on others and recognize her prescience and ability to influence people. Eric, bent on revenge, stole a weapon from terrorists the husbands stopped and, in consequence, suffered severe business losses. Marcus, a human trafficker long hunted by the husbands, plans on profiting from selling the men’s brats and breaking their strong-willed Imshalel.