I'm Looking for Input

Query Letter for My Novel

In deciding on a topic for this week’s post, I really didn’t want to take time away from my novel. I can see the finish line and want to get it done, so I can send out queries to agents who might be interested in representing me. So why not write about the novel. The following is a draft of my letter to tell others the gist of the story. I’ll continue to tweak it to clarify some muddy spots. I’d be grateful for any suggestions—places that were difficult to follow, important questions left unanswered.

The Devoted of Imshalel

The Devoted of Imshalel is a centuries-old, multicultural society determined to find and protect the woman destined to sow the seeds of stability in a precarious world and bear the children who will bring them to fruition. 109,000 words, the fantasy novel follows shy, self-effacing Shannon as she becomes the compelling Imshalel with the power of will to alter hearts and minds. The story blends the contemporary world with the speculative community of the Devoted.

Shannon’s life mirrors the cautionary tale experts warn women to avoid. She ended a career to raise two sons and, stuck in a dead-end marriage, has few financial resources. Ian, bound by vows to the Devoted, runs a US corporation and human relief organizations that provide the society conduits to the outside world. Promised a family during a vision undertaken as part of the Devoted’s training, Ian believes Shannon is his prophesied wife but recognizes signs that she may be more—a strongly empathic nature, loving tolerance for human failings, and passionate environmental concerns—and brings her to the Devoted’s island, long kept off the radar of other nations, to determine if she is Imshalel. 

A test of strategy and physical endurance verifies that Shannon is Imshalel and hurls her into a future where she’s expected to marry multiple multiracial men, to ensure the diversity of her children, and to embody the hopes of an entire people for a more sustainable world. To save herself and her children from enemies incurred by her husbands during missions of the Devoted to aid the helpless and embattled, Imshalel must fight an ingrained fear of relying on others and recognize her prescience and ability to influence people. Eric, bent on revenge, stole a weapon from terrorists the husbands stopped and, in consequence, suffered severe business losses. Marcus, a human trafficker long hunted by the husbands, plans on profiting from selling the men’s brats and breaking their strong-willed Imshalel.