Causing
Hurt
We
can hurt others through deliberate meanness, careless unconcern about their
feelings, baldly stating truths about their personalities or choices without
the slightest compassion, perhaps tired of the same complaints or unable to
empathize. We often do this while glossing over our own questionable quirks and
forgetting how much we need others to be sympathetic when we’re down. Of course
there is the insatiably bottomless pit of need where it’s better for our peace
of mind to cut ties. Doesn’t mean it has to be done cruelly.
People
who love us also feel deep pain when we engage in behavior hurtful to ourselves,
addictions or problems forging balanced relationships with food, partners, or
work.
It
makes me cringe whenever I see parents drinking in front of their children.
They may not be overdoing, but it brings me back to childhood memories of
neighborhood gatherings where many of my friends’ parents drank to excess and
destroyed their families. Not all their kids recovered, having their own
problems with substance abuse as teenagers and adults. My friends’ pain
affected me to the point that I have a prejudice against alcohol. Its smell
doesn’t help.
Relationship
Minefield
What’s
more painful than a child willfully going against our beliefs and choosing
behaviors guaranteed to get them into trouble—physical, with the law, to their
future. There comes a point when a parent has to let go and trust the child to
put into practice what they’ve been taught. Figuring out the timing is hard and
a subject for another post.
Friday
on The Point of the Gospel—Jesus’
first miracle. Monday—more on relationship minefields and forgiveness.
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