Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Unconditional Love or Contract



When We Expect Unconditional Love

If a friend or partner in a relationship becomes incapacitated through no fault of their own, then unconditional love applies. We’d expect no less in return. We store memories of better times to see us through when hardship strikes as it always does. It’s part of the human experience, and we hope builds strength, resilience, and an even closer bond to one another. And of course we all have bad days, hormonal days that should be forgiven in the grand scheme of a relationship.

Relationship Contract

Marriage and friendship are a shared responsibility and a promise to consistently consider the other’s needs and desires as important as our own. Sometimes we put ourselves or the partner or friend first, sometimes we compromise, as long as it averages out to an equal give and take.

Love, friendship, even humanitarian love—benevolence toward or forbearance in judging others—shouldn’t be simply feelings. They aren’t merely in the words no matter how sincerely meant in the moment. It boils down to day-to-day choices and actions. A hug, a nonjudgmental ear, a patient ear when hearing the story for the umpteenth time, doing the dishes, changing a diaper, making an effort to learn what makes your friend or partner sad, what makes them want to sing—love is in what we do about our feelings.

Join In

The main character in my novel, The Devoted of Imshalel, struggles with these issues. I’d really love to hear others’ ideas on what constitutes love and when unconditional love applies. We all have our horror stories and I hope sweeter memories.

Friday on The Point of the Gospel—the rest of choosing the disciples.

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